Monday, March 01, 2004

Dear Abby, Your Writers Scare Me

Dear Abby:*

I have been married for two years to the most wonderful woman. However, we have not yet consummated our marriage. She insists on living with her mother. I think it's because of the many terrible things her mother has told her about men and sex.

I am at the end of my rope. I am married, but not married, to the greatest woman on Earth. What do I do?

Unconsummated in Korea

Talk to the clergyperson who married you. Then talk to a lawyer. From my perspective, the relationship you have described is not only NOT a marriage but also may be grounds for an annulment.

Newsflash caller: She's not the greatest woman on Earth. Not even close. For instance, she apparently (per your description) is incapable of making decisions on her own. I must admit I am impressed you have spent two years married before hitting the end of your rope. And to be clear, it's not the sexlessness stuff that puts you over the edge. It's the my "wife" prefers to live with her mother rather than me angle that takes the cake. It's an almost unbelievable story as presented and makes me yearn for more details- either to better advise or to aid in my ab exercises.

* This is old, as I haven't been on the ball for a little while now


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