Friday, March 12, 2004

Dear Abby, You Tool

Next Monday's Dear Abby column has been pulled. Abby, out of all the letters she must receive, chose to respond to a letter from Marge. You know Marge. Marge Simpson. On top of generally offering milquetoast advice and ocassionally getting it spectacularly wrong, Abby also has a finely tuned bullshit detector. And aren't those the most important traits in an advice columnist: sniffing out frauds and effectively addressing the problems presented? And by effectively, I mean helping solve the problem not helping the writer think the problem is solved.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. There was only one competent advice columnist in Abby's family. But she's dead. It was "Ann" not "Abby."*

* Please note that Abbs claims to be "known for its uncommon common sense and youthful perspective." Uncommon common sense (in the "cars will stop, eventually, when you run out into oncoming traffic" way?) is not how I would have put it, but sure. Youthful perspective, however, is an abdominal exercise.

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